Bei Kuan-tu

"Men's Disconnect"— Bei Kuan-tu

Yin4men.com is now Wisdom2Be.com

A few evenings ago, in a moment of intimate conversation with my dear Basherte, she explained to me the process (at least from her perspective) of how “loving a man” is born inside a woman's heart.  It was a moment of epiphany!  Not because she was unveiling revolutionary details, but it was how she logically and sequentially phrased the steps, perfectly connecting them like unearthed pieces of ancient Chinese pottery — meticulously placed side by side to reveal a mystery called “Yin heart.”  I was touched and astounded!  She was imparting to me how a woman desires to be loved.  It was like I didn’t want to miss a beat; I wanted to extract and absorb every morsel that fell from her sacred lips!  It all made me love her that much more!…

This discussion that follows isn't about her vision (I will leave that for a future writing), nor is it a “scientific analysis” of men’s cultural and emotional deficits.  The real intent of this work is to look at why a majority of men haven’t a clue how to comprehend, let alone love, a woman’s heart.  What I hope to stir is a deeper awareness of the “whys.”  
Why men have become so disconnected from women — leaving themselves essentially emotionally bankrupt.  Why are we (men) so clueless of what my basherte describes as the “wondrous process of wooing a woman?”  And finally, why are we so secretly fearful of not embracing the “call of Yin” (which in truth we sense, but know so little about)?  

To understand these “whys,” I will lay out some of the more delusionary perspectives…

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"Finding Yin" – Bei Kuan-tu

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Reading Walter Isaacson’s biography on the life of Steve Jobs, I came across a line early in the book where Jobs states, “The idealistic wind of the sixties is still at our backs, and most of the people I know who are my age have that ingrained in them forever.” I am a product of that idealism. Not that I can’t be as critical or cynical as the next guy, but there is a well-spring inside me that has always believed in the potential for human growth and personal enlightenment. I realize that climbing a stairwell to infinity is a perplexing notion, and logically (in this human existence) unattainable. But I have learned that it is not so much the goal, but rather the process itself that is most rewarding. In planting a young seedling it is not the mature tree that the planter witnesses…

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Loving Your Woman — Bei Kuan-tu

Yin4men.com is now Wisdom2Be.com

If a man’s inner-awareness in any way intersects with the pureness of a woman’s heart, he will naturally enter into a higher state of “connection” for and with her.  Such a bond can be near ecstatic — where lines between each of them dissolve like morning dew facing the sun, as each yields to the radiance of the other’s love.  Sadly, often due to millenniums of misogynous conditioning and entrenched egos, most men are resistant, even fearful of such goodness (the goddess) — choosing disconnection over the blessing, darkness over feminine light.  If such a state of dysfunction is not healed men will needlessly suffer serious emotional and even physical scaring.  This "disconnect” is why men feel as alienated and estranged from women as they do… 

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"Disconnection (letter to a friend)" by Bei Kuan-tu

Yin4men.com is now Wisdom2Be.com

My Friend,

This letter includes a few small insights taken from my 60 years of inner-travel (I do like the sound of that). I've shared these thoughts near and far —with family, close friends, sometimes complete strangers, a few high schoolers, and now you. My words are small footprints— simple snippets of a heart's journey.   But I think the essence to what I am trying to say is here.     

___________


My life’s purpose wasn't always to bless. Transformative change is arduous, ongoing, and never ending. It involves the unlocking and releasing of emotional and physical pain. It thrives on mega doses of humility. So as I write please know that judgement is not my intent. For I am a true believer in first aiming my considerations homeward—at myself.  As Jesus so profoundly stated,


“Take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother or sister's eye."   

There are few wiser words.

The great thing about being alive, or at least some semblance of it, is the endless opportunity to go deeper, to expand one's inner domain —leading the heart to clearer waters. In such places Love's dazzling waves shimmer, and delight the human spirit.  Equally true, life requires us to passionately…

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